Divorce shaped a St. Paul mother’s music blog

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.

Maya Angelou

Getting a divorce is like having open heart surgery without anesthesia. Not sure who said this first, but because it’s incredibly accurate, it gets repeated. Divorce is a sucker punch. A miserable experience for everyone involved no matter how amicably it’s navigated.

Divorce changes people. For me, everything was different. I’ve certainly changed. I’ve become an optimist. I no longer suffer fools. I’ve stopped saying “I’m sorry” a hundred times a day for no real reason. And I spend more money on concerts than clothes. My priorities have changed but what I held dear before is now even more precious.

Family at Fall Out Boy Concert Xcel Energy Center
Daughter’s bestie, me, E, and G
at Fall Out Boy, Xcel Energy Center

I’m not certain if divorce is easier for younger or older kids. It is what it is, right? Either way, you worry. When you’re going through it, people will tell you that kids are resilient. I think people are resilient no matter their age. We all want to make the best out of our situations. My children certainly did that and more.

Through it all, we listened to a lot of music. I made playlists for every mood and occasion. I clung to music like a life jacket. We went to as many shows as humanly possible. We ate many dinners from food trucks in Mear’s Park on free concert Thursday nights. We danced in the kitchen, a lot.

St. Paul Lowertown Blues Festival friends
Lowertown Blues Festival with concert friends

Now we’re on the other side. The kids are doing great. They have surrounded themselves with great friends. One might even say they are thriving. Me? I’m re-married. Happy. It’s quite possible that he loves live music more than me. A match made in the proverbial heaven.

Photo of Beth Nault-Warner blogger at New Orleans Jazz Festival 2019
Matt & I at the New Orleans Jazz Festival 2019

I’ve come to realize is that people my age don’t go out to experience live music, especially women. Lot’s of reasons: too loud, too crowded, too expensive, too busy, too…too. But the energy at a live show is palpable. And that my friends, is a whole fountain of youth. You can actually leach the passion and energy from whomever is on stage, the young people around you, the bartenders, the people at the merch table, it’s ALL OVER THE PLACE. Go ahead, they won’t mind. They’re young; they’ll make more.

So. This blog. It’s my big fat dream that Push 2 the Front will become a place for us to talk about what makes us happy. Because, friends, life is short. We can’t wait for the kids to go to college or for our 401K to hit our imaginary magic number. Let’s start living a “retired” lifestyle…. right damn now!

We’ll talk about music, travel, entertainment, and life/love every now and then. If fashion and makeup tutorials are your thing, it’s not here. We’ll see where this takes us. Hopefully, it will get us off our couches and away from Netflix and our phones. Hallelujah!

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